A 4-letter word for Marriage (hint: not LOVE)

if my life were a crossword puzzle...

When a TV Twice your size costs half the price!!!!

you get bullsh*t

chevy 57 on a ride to remember

bars with bands are found in every crevice in a city that never sleeps. from the "dho u know wath im sayin" of filipino hip hop bands to slow cigarette lighter waving crowds screaming their drunken voices to the sounds of a procelain complexioned chinese female on her rendition of andy lau's "i wish i had two". but rarely does anyone find a bar dedicated to the rock hard bad boys of the 70s.

waiting for insurance papers to clear after a minor accident a friend and i were relaxing at muddy's when we ran into leanoard, a die hard music man from the band leo and boys, the soul of the party of bell bottomed men and frilly frocked women of the 80s. back in the days when i used to jam with equiilibirum, leonard used to come to us with oppotunities of open mic nights. leonard used to be a part of the resident band at the shangri-la hotel and when he asked us to join them that nite we didnt even hesitate.

driving to the place we realised that he wasnt travellin toward shangri-la but in the opposite direction. thats when he told us that the management had replaced the band for one that caters more to the chinese tycoons and that he was now playin at this palce called chevy 57.

from the outside it looked veryyyy bad. a tin roofed broken walled establishment with one bright neon sign in the shape of a chevy with the words 57 hung outside the only door to the bar. me and eli walked in disappointed that a man once soo recognised had to be reduced to this. but inside the place was a real piece of preserved heaven. instruments, decor, the crowd the price of a beer all remain unchanged from the 70s. they even had a lap steel guitar bang in the centre of the stage. the music was loud and catchy and when leonard asked me up on stage to join them in playing the doobie brothers (long train running), john cougar mellencamp (hurt so good) and deep purple (highway star) i grew nervous. for one i haven't touched the bass guitar in over 8 months and i havent played on stage in a year and i had just one leg left to rest on. leonard being the player that he always is didnt take no for an answer. at sound levels that high every wrong note is amplified and after a couple of falso starts and nervous sweats things went soo good that for those 15 mins on that stage, playing to a crowd that had already seen three quarters of their lives gone by screaming and jumping with all the virilty that would make a teenager ashamed, i wished time would never end. and never has my leg hurt so good. thank you leonard, chris, julia, muz and zul (for giving me ur spot)!!

really makes me wanna play again, i miss the adrenaline surge and the brain rush. and maybe in 30 years from now ill be among a crowd of old drunken men and women who have to get back home to their families and work at 1 in the mornin, dancing along to the sounds of timbaland and akon.

All old flames should look and feel this good!!

And in 3 Hours you lose your Fantasy!

People who dont know their left from right measure up better against those who dont know their right from wrong!
If you ever wished you could turn back the hands of time, turn it back not to the moment you did what you did but to the moment you realised you had to listen to that one person who told you not to do what you were going to.
Lane 3 markings never mean what they are supposed to mean.
Frankies deserve to be that one person your mother warned you about.
Prozac helps you forget what you've done but doesnt help you think to recover what you could've undone.
Not only do smarties have the answer even cuties do.
A fool and his money are sooon parted - thank u bible.
Quinellas not only sound like a breakfast food but should remain as that.
WWJD if he was up against a multitude of 5000 with just 2 fish. But on second thought Jesus never had flights to catch.
When people say the odds are against you. They mean it. On fire on fire, the house is not the one on fire. its those two brown murphies half way down your back that feel the pinch.
The greatest advantage in playing is not playing at all.
The safest way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

smile, laugh, make happy

im older again

im wiser

an entire year of learning

i just realised i havent blogged in over 2 months

school is starting again really soon

i realy love these holidays i had

was the best time of my life

my last months of freedom

i doubt ill ever be able to forget this year

these are some of the saddest jokes ever written (in a ghatti accent) they are soo sad ull wish u had the last 5 minutes of ur life back.

- one day In the examination holl teacher ask the studen't why are you turn back side?

- the studen't told that you had all ready wirtten has turnover

- an elephant got married to a mousquito.on the next day mosquito died.why is it?

- because elephant lit a mosquito coil

- Teacher: John, give me a sentence using the word, "geometry."

- John: Okay, there once was this little acorn. Then it grew and grew and woke one day and said, ''Gee, I'm a tree.''

- I told my 9 year old daughter to go and get my cell phone from my silver car parked in the driveway; she came back and told me that she couldn’t find it. I said to her, “but I just finished talking on it and left it in the car.” She replied: “Daddy, but the silver car is locked so I went to look in the gray car.”

- once an old man went to a barber shop assuming that it was a hotel.

- he asked, "what is there in the menu?"

- "cutting and shaving", came the reply.

- The old man said "bring each, one plate".

- Man: how much did u study?

- Lady: B.A,

- Man: soo long time and only 2 letters that too the other way round

- girl: darling can you give me a ring on the wedding day?

- boy:sure my honey.i will call you on my wedding day.

- since 1 week 3 monkeys were missing from zoo and they have been just found, first one in london bridge who was trying to jump from the tower bridge. The second one found at london eye who was trying to climb the london eye and the third one found reading this joke..

a month later and we still fail as comics!!

wow.....finally the mic is working, and soo many comments even before ive started!!! i feel soo loved!!!!! thank you!! ull really make my days soo much better!!!!

so here's something to laugh about...i doubt many of you will find this funny, but the person in these exchanges and i spend minutes in belly aching laughter over this....

these are just a few....there are soo many more that might get us stoned simply because of their degree of sadness...

me: i cant make up my mind
b: do u want lipstick to help u?

b: i love u
me: i love u2
b: i love bon jovi

me: ill hang up (the phone) now?
b: ok, use stong hangers

me: my mouse isn't working
b: good, then the cat is doing its job.

b: there's this place called h2O that has a waterfall so i was wonderin if there was no water will it still be called h2O?
b's friend: then it will be called no h2O!

b: do u like fishing?
me: not particularly. do u?
b: i love fishing!!u wanna know how i fish?
me: how?
b: with my hands.
me:what????how?!??!
b: i go to the market n tell the guy i wanna hold a fish.
me: @#$%!!!!!!

b: if a band is banned wat wud it be called?
me: a banned band??.

b: what did the cat say to the squirrel?
me: y are u so high up?
b: Meow Meow Meow Meow
me: what the hell is that????
b: thats cat speak for i want your nuts!!Muahahhahahhahaha
me: ?!?!?!?!


and the best of them all....

me: when im missin u ill just give u a missed call k
b: sure, then when ur thinkin about me, give me a thinked call k

mic test!!!one...two